Sunday, September 28, 2008

~ Upset ~

Today is that kind of days where I flare up... Couldn't control it.. it's just like a volcano that has stay dormant for awhile and waiting to erupt when the heat builds up.

Why? I guess I'm just tired, fed up.. and feeling that I'm taken for granted again.. like a maid. Work is building up.. more night meetings... it's going to get worse with the weekend support call now. Yet, I got to handle ALL the housework and look after the kids. Sighz...

Has always been sickly lately.. but even if I'm sick, I got to work.. Went to my mum's place for lunch today.. I was lying on the bed and unknowingly I fell asleep... But I realise I slept so well (even if it's only a short moment).. knowing my brother can help me look after the 2 kids. Brother show me a new PS game and said I can try playing it too.. First thought.. how can that possibly happen. I can only play little short games..

There's always things for me to do at home.. if it's not the kids or work.. its thinking about the washing, cleaning.. when to change the bedsheets.. wash the toilets... vacuum, mop... arggh.. What's the point of saying.. Its been so many years and so many times... but I just want to let it off my chest so that I won't go crazy.

I'm upset that I am being ignored.. felt emotionally imbalance.. getting edgy and upset. This is especially stronger after my late night meetings... I am still staying up to hang and fold the clothes... I wanted to "罢工"! ... Come to think about it... When was the last time I got a complete day of rest? Not needing to worry or lift a finger on the kids and house matter.. Maybe if I fall very very ill and cannot stand..

Ok.. Enough of complaining... so what if I flare up at everyone and I'm upset? At the end of the day.. I'm still unhappy.. it's seem like I'm at fault and NOTHING will change.. - The tears only make my eyes super tired the next day and I will probably get a bad headache.. I already spoil my Sunday night.. shall not think about it and retreat to my dormant state. *Peace.....

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