Thursday, May 14, 2009

~ Hurt ~

I'm really upset today... Hubby said a couple of words which I felt very hurt..

Say me stupid already made me mad this morning. Then he made me even more upset in the evening when we were discussing about going to Ashton's full month celebration next Sunday. It somehow clashes with Denver's lesson... I don't mind him missing one lesson so long it's not an important performance. Plus I hope to bring my parents (esp my Dad) to see his first grandson since till now he haven't got a chance to see yet. Just felt very hurt when hubby put his words so bluntly and direct that we do not need to stay and eat and my parents can take a cab themselves since my Dad can walk (Sarcastically). *I'm Extremely HURT! Maybe he can walk slightly better now, still someone should look out for him.. What if he falls? I will be left with only Guilt. At that moment, I just felt that Hubby never really wanted to go..(Shouldn't have replied early saying that all of us are going....) The kids were also noisy and everything at that instance makes me angry, sad and irritated. I really felt like tearing but hold it back till now..

Cried silently and the more I think about it, the more depress and upset I am. That's the problem with me.. Always a crying baby with a weak heart and mind. Hubby earlier mentioned he is going for movies with his colleagues.. That somehow saddens me even more... I don't think he sensed that I was still upset and that I also long for a break and rest. I really envy....Day in and Day out.. I'm also tired out with my work, housework and the kids. I don't have much freedom with outings too.. always rushing to be back home to take the kids.. At the end of the day, what am I left with again? A tired body, blocked nose, teary eyes, strained heart and being called Stupid. sigh...... I think I need a holiday where I can really rest... but can I?

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