~ Dora the Explorer - Live! ~

It has been a week since Denver's accident... A rather tough week has past. Was not able to sleep well and took MC on Monday. Work piled up and I was really busy especially with the new product launching next week...I can feel the stress. Cough and sorethroat starts to develop on Wednesday... I knew I am going to fall sick as my voice is getting coarse..

Hubby called on that Wednesday afternoon saying he got 4 free tickets to the Dora the Explorer Live! Dora’s Pirate Adventure show at the Expo. Denver should love it very much...It's about 1 and a half hour show and I do ponder if the kids can stay put and finish watching the musical. I wasn't feeling well but guess we should not give that a miss... It was lucky too I did not have any team meeting that night. We got rather good central seats.. I checked online that it would have cost us $48 per ticket. Amazingly, Denver and Gladys really paid attention and finish watching the entire show! I guess the songs, lightings, characters really helped. In addition, it is something they are both very familiar with (since they have been watching it on TV so often)... It wasn't very crowded either and we had the entire row all by ourselves which gives us a lot of space to move around and put our stuff. I'm glad the kids love it... by the time we got home and the kids are asleep, I also fall asleep... but only to wake up feeling feverish at 3am with a bad flu and sorethroat.. I moved myself to the living room and slept there through morning..

True enough, I lost my voice the moment I woke up. Had 2 days MC... but only took half a day medical leave on Thursday and work through my Friday.... Many issues with work and next week I must get ready to Battle! There is going to be a major meeting and I do expect a lot of issues and questions. Still, I thought I should enjoy my weekend..but end up sobbing today.

Why? Just feeling very helpless.. tired.. Work piling, there are still housework to do.. I hope hubby can help with packing the luggage... do not wish to leave it till the weekdays cos I know I would be too busy with work and no mood to do them. Seeing him playing his online games and not lifting a hand really makes me mad and sad. When Denver had the accident, I told him he should spend some time with him.. instead of endulging in his computer games.. Guess a leapoard cannot change his spots.. I guess packing can always wait for him.. but not to me.. Maybe its my bad habit that I like things to be prepared early.. and know what is missing. I just found out that I can't find the milk powder container.. but I do not bother to tell him anymore.. I did not even bother to pack his clothes and stuff that I will usually do.

I realise I have so little time for myself.. When I am sick.. I still have to make sure my job are done. When my body is tired... I just fall asleep.. I wanted to play stickers with Denver today.. but my mood just gets into me and he had to watch me cry and go to bed.. I do felt guilty afterwards...especially looking at the scar on his face.. which also makes me feel even worse. It's really sad to think that if Mummy is tied up with work or too tired... no one can spend time with the kids. At least I know Hubby would not take the initiative.. Sad... Sometimes I wonder who cares for me.. Gosh.. I spoil my own weekend again. :(

~ Traumatized ~

Life is so unpredictable and beyond our control. The fear we experienced 3 years ago has been felt strongly again today. Today is a normal Sunday morning.. Sunny.. bright and we had planned to have lunch at my mum's place after Denver's swimming lesson.. I still remembered Denver hugging me and being naughty before he say "Bye Bye Mummy"...

I stayed home with Gladys and was watching "Black Jack" while putting her to nap. It was an episode on how a no-license doctor saved a baby boy during war times... just as I was feeling sad and near to tears, the phone rang at 1040am and Hubby told me Denver had a bad cut on his face and bleeding.. I was shocked and worried... the only thing that came to my mind was what happened when Denver was 2 years old. It was Mother's day (May 2005).. after visiting my mum, Denver walked on his own and fell on a concrete sharp end along the corridor.. it fell hard on his forehead and he cried badly...blood was flowing out tremendously. I was traumatized and we quickly rushed him to KK Hospital... he had 3 stitches then... and left a scar till now..

I can't explain if it is coincident or it was fate that Denver suffered the same incident today again in May 2008. This time round, I was not by his side.. We put Gladys at my inlaws place and quickly took him to KK Hospital again... We hoped the doctors can give him glue instead of stitch to avoid leaving another scar... but the wound is vertical and too deep and wide...:( The nurse apply a cooling glue on his wound to numb the area.. After 30mins, I accompany Denver to the room for stitching... I never realized how deep it was until the doctor took off the plaster and starts cleaning up the wound.. I really felt like crying at that time.. but I couldn't as Denver needs my moral support. As he is lying down on the bed, with blankets covering him.. I hold on to his hands... I know he is afraid ... he closed his eyes and didn't speak. The only thing I can do at that moment is to stand by him and keep talking to him...

"Denver, you are a brave boy like Ben"

"Ben is very courageous fighting the monsters.. You are like him"

"We will go Macdonalds for lunch.. What do you like? Nuggets? Fries?"

"You want a Kid's meal toy from Mac?"

"You want Ice-cream?"

"We are going home soon"

"Doctor is very gentle, it's like an ant bite"

"Don't be afraid..One last stitch"

The wound was about 2cm long.. deep..He had 5 stitches. My heart felt really painful... but I could not breakdown. Twice.. he suffered head injury and missed hurting his eyes by that little..

Denver was really brave.. not sheding a tear and let the doctor do the stitching.. He was still as active and bubbly.. I'm glad for that.. As promised, we took him for a good Macdonald lunch, got him ice-cream and a toy. I know Denver likes the OMNITRIX (Ben 10 watch)... we went down to Takashimaya and got him that for his birthday present. He was happy..

The only things I gathered after was he had finished his swimming lesson and bathing at the children pool area. Hubby went to put down his bag.. and shortly he heard Denver's loud scream... According to Denver.. he bang his head on the water pipes while trying to press for water.

All seems to be over for now... but actually its not for us... Hubby was as traumatized as me.. He felt even worse and put all the blame to himself... Being involved in a car accident when he was 10 and now seeing Denver suffered head injuries twice when he was so close to him on both occassion really had a great impact on him... I cried.. He cried... we can't help blaming ourselves as parents... I know accidents happen.... we cannot be with the child at all times to protect them.. but it is always when things happened that we start to ponder and blame ourselves....thinking "only if I were there."... "only if I did not leave him alone"... "only if....."

It's near Midnight.. Denver was coughing and vomitted. I was worried.. Hubby says it's due to the cough he was suffering and should be fine.. so long its not more than 3 vomits in a day. We gave him cough mixture and warm water.. He is awake and could not sleep.. Right now, I am sitting beside him as he is lying down on the sofa watching Cartoon Network.. I asked if he is tired and wanted to sleep.. he says "no...". Frankly, my body is tired physically.. I'm having a headache... but I can't sleep either. Looking at him in this stage.. the fear that was within me 3 years ago has rise again... For the next 72 hours, this is the critical monitoring period for head injury... I am glad brother has came to visit and helped me to look after the kids for awhile.. the intense emotional strain has really tired me out... I had no mood to look after Gladys and the guilt could not go away. Seeing the new scar is not only going to leave a permanent mark on Denver... but also on us. For the past 3 years.. although the wound has started to heal.. seeing the old scar has always make me feel bad.. now, its haunting me again.. double the impact. Hubby is not taking it well.. I can't either...

Although we did not show/mention it.. but it is deeply crave in our hearts. I hope Hubby don't think too much and concentrate on driving. I have to move on too...somehow... 1211am.. Denver still awake.. what can I do? :(

~ Singapore Expo ~

Yeah! It's friday again :) It has been a tough week and I'm glad its weekend! Hubby bought me 4 tops from Bossini lately.. all are below $20 so I am kinda happy. They are casual wear and I can wear them on my trip to KL :p

Today marks the start of the Great Singapore Sales! Tomorrow is Family Day and I heard there is a water show in Boat quay tonight! Wow.. we can sure expect a lot of people everywhere! We went to Singapore Expo today.. There are many good exhibitions there right now... like Popular, Food Fair, Robinson Birthday bash, Adiddas etc....

We bought some assessment books for Denver and headed to the Food fair. We tasted a lot of food and drinks samples.. This time round, the food fair has displayed more varieties and we bought meat balls, drinks, ice-cream, packet noodles, Acticol and Nestles cereals.. Hubby got so much stuff to carry! We also managed to pop by Robinson sale at Hall 7...I have been to Expo a couple of times... but this is the first time I went to Hall 7. :)

Overall, it was fruitful but tiring trip... even right here as I am writing this, my eyes can't help shutting down. Time for bed... Yawnz...

~ Late nights :( ~

It's always nice to have a long weekend...especially since it was Vesak Holiday on Monday.. but the sad thing is since then, I had been working late for 3 consecutive nights! Teleconferences on every night... and I just ended my weekly team meeting conference 5 minutes ago... Gosh..

Felt really bad as I have been 'pushing' the kids aside... making sure that they are asleep before my conferences start... because of that, I have been ignoring Denver...not able to read him books, play games and stickers with him.. I know he feels sad and needed my attention....but I told him Mummy needs to work. It will be good if he understands and learns not to depend on Mummy too much.

Denver has failed to do his homework this week.. we were really mad and Denver got a trashing from Daddy. He cried and was confined to his room.. just before I knew it, he has fallen asleep... I do find it difficult to manage him.. When we are really nice, he takes advantage of the situation and starts to misbehave.. When we are really strict and fierce, he cries so badly and looked pitiful. Sighz.

More work is coming.. and there will be more night teleconferences. I can only pray and hope I can manage this. At least I am really looking forward to the vacation coming June!

~ Denver's K1 Parent-Teacher Meeting Day ~

Today is Parent-Teacher Meeting Day. Took a couple of hours off and accompany Denver to his school.. Yesterday he show me his Progress report book and I flipped to the last page of the book to see what his teachers have commented. Was really happy to learn that Denver has been behaving well and good in school.

The scheduled time was 930am.. but Denver was so eager to go.. he keep calling and asking us when we are leaving... I guess he couldn't wait.. :p When we reached the school, he quickly show us where his classroom is... we waited for awhile before meeting his English teacher, Mrs Chong. She was full of praise and say Denver can read well... a matured boy and always lending a helping hand... Hmmmmm.. :p During the 10 days where he was confined at home and missed school, they thought he might have fallen behind his school work and forgot how to read some of the books... Apparently, he still did well and was able to recognise the words.

The usual 'talkative' son of mine didn't make a sound or word while we were talking.. So unlike him.. and he looks ackward and shy... sitting between us and making weird looking faces.. hehehe

Next Stop => Chinese teacher, Mrs Lin.... now this time we waited really long as she teaches Chinese for a couple of classes.. there are so many parents ahead of us.. A couple of them has been seated there for quite a while.. I only started to earsdrop when Mrs Lin was persuading one of the parent to spend the time on Mahjong to teach her daughter.. and not to let the maid teach her English. Wow... interesting..

We waited at least for half an hour before our turn comes... was really anxious as it seems a couple before us has something to 'complain' about... To my surprise, the first comment Mrs Lin said was "I have nothing to complain about Denver"... Wow... I am so glad.. I am even happier when she says Denver has been helpful and well behaved. The only downside is he tends to finish his writings quickly and also to take note of his prounciation. Other then that, he is dependable and eager to learn. Makes me a Happy and Proud Mummy. :D

Big Big Hugz to you Denver!! I really hope you will do the same at home as you have done well in school. :)

~ Happy Mother's Day ~

It has been a tiring week... My job scope started to change.. feeling restless... took Denver to the clinic yesterday to confirm that he is out of the HFMD suspicion. Yeah!!! He can finally go back to school... Gladys had her 5-in-one jab on Thursday and her left thigh starts to swell and appear red on Friday. Luckily the antibiotics that the Doctor prescribed did help to reduce the redness and swelling... else I have to make a trip down to the polyclinic tomorrow.

Today is Mother's day.. We had dinner with my inlaws last weekend and yesterday we celebrated with my mum at "Uncle Leong Seafood" located at AMK, Blk 233. Their speciality are Crabs.. It was my first time there and my brother ordered Butter and their famous "Golden Sand" aka Jin Sha Crab. Not bad.. it is different from the usual Chilli crab that I usually had with my hubby and his family. The fried seafood toufu, Deer meat, Vegetables and noodles are nice too.. Definitely another place to consider eating at...

Come to think of it...it's the 5th year being a mother. Denver did not even realise today is Mother's Day.. :p Seems just like another weekend. We had dinner at Suki Sushi at Punggol Plazaa and had my favourite Japanese food.. :P Time is still early and we went to Ikea and Courts for a walk. Bought something really good at Ikea... Corner protectors! Really good compared to the usual ones which I bought outside which do not stick well at all. This one really looks cool and sticks really GOOD! At least Gladys won't be able to take them out so easily. :)

Ahh... another day has passed... Its Monday again :( Sucks.. It has been so long since I last had that kind of feeling. One thing I am looking forward is VACATION! There's going to be one coming in June!!! Yeah... I need a break... hoping all goes well.

~ Angry!! ~

I simply do not understand how can a lost of 1 marker pen leads to an argument. Especially questioning me where is the marker while I am in the midst of a teleconference meeting. Already feeling the tiredness and still trying to concentrate on the meeting contents. At the same time, I am hearing hubby making sounds of frastration.. blaming me for always using the pen and not putting it back.. I was pretty sure I did not use it lately..Hmmmpf! Ok..Fine! Take it as it is my fault!

Is it because I have been tidying the stuff.. using items.. resulting in hubby missing letters and making late bill payments that make him mad? Well, if only the things are kept tidy, I wouldn't even need or bother to clean up. Fine..I am being nosey.. itchy hand..My fault again.

I am not saying I am a very tidy person myself.. I do admit that I do not put stuff back to where they are..and leaving things around. But at least I do try to tidy up on a frequent basis. I don't get any help and if I do not manage it.. no one will anyway... Least to say to wash a cup, keep the newspaper, clean the toilet, change the bedsheets, mop and vacuum the floor.. I should have just let it rot! Can't help feeling angry and sad.. :( These days just haven't been going well for me.

~ HFMD ~

Last thursday night, Denver complained that he has mouth ulcers and felt pain. Hubby and I checked and found that there are 2 ulcers on the left side. Due to the recent increased number of Hand, Foot, Mouth Disease cases, we decided to let him stay home for a day.

Denver was bubbly and did not develop any fever. No spots were also found... however, by Sunday, his mouth uclers have grown to 5 spots... one of which was self bitten. :S Denver usually will develop ulcers whenever he had too much heaty food...but considering the seriousness it could lead to, hubby took him to see a doctor this morning.

There were no spots on the hands and foot... however, some rashes were found on the nappy area. To be on a precaution side, the doctor gave him 5 days of medical leave. I have to called the school and notify them that Denver has been diagnose as a suspected case of HFMD. They were very concern as I understand there have been a few suspected cases in the school as well but were later confirmed as non-HFMD.

The weather has been really bad lately.. temperature is raising and it's the flu season..There are also increasing Dengue fever and HFMD cases. We really need to look after our health... especially our kids..

Mother's day is coming.. supposed to have a family dinner together ... let's hope Denver has got well and Hubby has no job on that day.

~ Labour Day! ~

It's Labour Day (1st May)!! 10 years ago, Hubby and I officially got together on this date. Wow... 10 years already!? During this period, I have completed my university studies, got married, have a house and 2 kids. I wonder if that is considered an acheivement... hmmm. What will happen 10 years later? I can't tell..

Today is just like the other days... no special celebration. Hubby took Denver to swim in the morning while I stayed home to look after Gladys. Made some blunders over my work yesterday, so I had a short t-con in the morning and probably need to get it settled tomorrow. Sighz. Anyway.. it is still a holiday and I should just take a break.

Went to my mum's place for lunch and stayed for awhile. Didn't get a chance to see my brothers which is a shame though. Took the kids to United Square later and got Denver 2 Education CDs and a sticker book. He has been playing stickers with me every night and really enjoying it. :) Had a short nap and went back to my inlaw's place for a nice dinner - Chilli Crab and Chicken Wing! Yummy!!

Just returned from Hougang Point and the kids are sound asleep. Denver has been singing me songs he learned from school.. He even said he is going to give me a flower on Mother's Day. I wonder if he knows exactly when is Mother's day.. but we shall see..heehehhee.